This article was originally posted to my Facebook to liberate myself from my own inner shackles of Liberalism and to reclaim authenticity over my digital spaces and self-expression. It is a diary entry as much as a public article, and is more stream of consciousness and personal than my typical writing, including the vulgarity/cursing that can come with authenticity. Just so you know what you’re getting into.
“Love” is not about The Who or What which comes after Love. Love is about the I, the Infinite I, that comes before Love, regardless of Who or What comes after.
This sentiment was inspired by my previous share, a post from Nile Abasi, which is worth a read in its own right. He spoke to some feelings I’ve felt for ages, but continued fearing.
His post inspired me into a reckoning: my longstanding fear of liberal crucifixion.
A fear that I have let fester in my heart, mind, psyche, and soul for far too long. Things all across the world are coming to an end now (overall for the better), and so it is time to end my (often assumed and projected?) allegiance with Liberalism.
This week I realized the primary person I write and dedicate my work to is my 10-15 year old self, the boy who needed the person I’ve become. I wrote this all out, then didn’t even want to post it. But I have no choice. Not owning this would be to shoot that boy in the face just to be politically correct. As I have done before.
So this is dedicated to the children who need the adults we become.
History has repeated itself on a spin cycle for ages. But now we are in the corridor of prophesy where history stops, washing up on shore for good. That’s why we are seeing what are seeing, and there will be more to see.
“Ancient history is somehow present tense. Everything is ending, but nothing is over.” – Clay Jensen, Episode 10: Graduation, Season 4, 13 Reasons Why
I feel like a lot of people don’t even care about this … but I can think of some people that this might trigger through the roof and make reject me. (Or hopefully, just cause them to reflect and look in the mirror a little and heal their own wounds.) This became longer than I knew was in me and is simply for whoever needs it. It’s for me and my Inner Child more than anything.
On one hand Liberalism befriended me, seeming to honor me just as I was (“Gay? Welcome!”) but on the other hand, oh how it hates deviation from its version of what’s “acceptable.” So much fucking hatred from something so cunningly welcoming.
Honestly, I wanted to fit into this club. I felt I had to fit in somewhere, so surely it was Liberalism. Right? Wrong.
I have often not spoken up about things because of the ostracization I knew was lurking in friends who were friends only as long as I continued to fit into their belief systems and avoid the buttons in their hearts.
I’ve been trying to get to the bottom of how this happened to me and to the world (as I do everything)…
But first, am I allegiant to Conservatism? Hell no.
If that was your first thought, then you’ve both missed AND made the point. The point is that humans are Humans, and this false dichotomy is LITERALLY and spiritually psychotic.
Conservatism is the archetype of the Masculine and Liberalism is the archetype of the Feminine. The single circle of Yin and Yang. Have you ever tried to roll half a wheel? It doesn’t fucking roll.
Now you know why this country isn’t rolling forward either. We the people are kicked around like a soccer ball, our only worth to score on one end of the field or the other.
Dear Liberalism and its adherents, your hatred for Trump is proportional to the Trump-sized rejection in your soul. What you hate in the world is YOU. I love Trump. I don’t approve of him, I wouldn’t befriend him, I don’t even endorse him. But I love him.
Because I LOVE, PERIOD.
Though regularly tested and occasionally failed by my life, ego, and wounds, the Love of my Heart does not stop for ANY Human regardless of their personal biases, political distortions, or severe violations. I love, period, because this is what God-born souls are destined to do! To be or at least become identical to their maker. The one who made the selfsame souls you hate, because of the shape of that soul in your own heart.
The most rabid, lost, disturbed, violent people need more love than they’ve ever gotten. Overall, they act as they do for not having had it or being unable to retrieve it inside themselves. What they have hated, they’ve had shapes of in their hearts. Just like many Liberals.
Liberals fail to realize that arrogant cocky men and fuckingly toxified masculinity are also coping with something, traumas so perpetuated you reject them before granting them even consideration in your mind, let alone the consideration of your hearts.
I am watching Season 4 of 13 Reasons Why, a “controversial” show that has made great strides in balancing out many opposing polarities, like the fact that both rapists and the raped are humans hurting in different ways; yet this show STILL cannot integrate or elaborate on issues like white supremacy. There are no flawed protagonists struggling with white supremacy (Tyler and his guns and Monty and his rage came the closest to this condition), only sideline antagonists that must be conquered and put in the trash by the protagonists.
Honestly, because I think Heart-dominant people just do not get it.
See, some people are more feminine/heart dominant and others are masculine/mind dominant. Supremacy, nationalism, Nazism, incels, and coldhearted CEOs are “Minds missing their Hearts.” If the Heart abandons them, what else would you expect of them? The Masculine is left the devices of its own mind and the wounds it refuses to feel. The Masculine is so lost and petrified without a Heart, the only thing it knows how to do is conquer what has rejected it and what it rejects. The crusades of Masculinity and Patriarchy have conquered this world only proportional to their immense suffering.
What Liberalism fails to realize is that closing down your own hearts and hating/rejecting the people and their pain which causes suffering for others, does not stop the suffering caused by the pain of these people inside. So while I’m at it, I love Hitler as well.
Something I say while equally considering the Jewish community which I’ve known for years, something I say as a gay man. Because my heart is NOT in bondage to either Judaism nor Nazism nor LGBT nor Trump nor Clinton or anyone or anything else.
My heart and soul are not enslaved to any entity or ideology.
So NONE OF THEM get to coerce me on how to be, do, think, or feel. If you don’t respect my free will and free expression, YOU’ve got a problem. You’ve got an agenda.
The suffering of a man like Hitler haunted him more than anyone in the world. That’s why he took it out on us: unable to look at it within, outside was the only place he could go. Completely unacceptable, yet earnings its own chapter in history.
Want to stop Nazism, dear Liberalism? Then go love Neo-Nazis before they become Hitler and don’t hate them when they do, when your heart wasn’t there. This man sets a role model for finding his Heart when no one handed it to him. (Note: Many people, Neo-Nazi and otherwise, won’t listen to the Heart even when it screams, and that is on them.)
Such suffering needed a love it never knew. So Liberalism, does your obsessive idealism and orchestrated rejections resolve anything? Obsessively rejecting something like Nazism is equal to obsessively endorsing it as a Nazi — because the duality of the ego is a bitch. Opposing one thing from the ego does not endorse an opposite, but energize the opposite.
OPPOSITES ARE EQUAL IN THEIR POLARITY. Republican? Democrat? Black? White? Victim? Victimizer? SAME DIFFERENCE.
Divorce the agendas.
Do whatever your Heart feels called to.
Disavow all that you are coerced into.
For no Mind out in the world can inform you of the right action of your own Heart, and when you are no longer coerced from outside, you will no longer coerce from inside.
The only solution is Unity.
Certainly, Unity does not endorse violence and violation toward fellow Unity, but it does understand and assist fellow Unity to not violate fellow Unity. And when it has violated other members of Unity, Unity understands that the actions of The Divider came from a very dark, broken, disillusioned place — which is also still itself, in Unity.
Neither Polarized Liberalism nor Polarized Conservatism contribute to anything except kicking around the soccer ball.
So, Dear Liberal, if you don’t love Trump or whom have you, you’ve got a serious existential issue. (This goes for Conservatives as well, but I have’t been afraid of them.)
Trump loves himself more than anything, and that should be clue that the issue is yours. Your hatred for him-or-whatever is in YOU. He loves what he sees in the mirror. Has he got issues to work out, divisions against Unity? Yep. But so do you. It takes two to tango — to roll a wheel. Your issue with this entity of Unity is in your own dis-unity.
Whenever I imagine people disagreeing with my homosexuality, I conjure this response in my head: Really? I love being gay. You don’t! So go deal with it.
YIN & YANG
So, have I gotten to the bottom of this delusional dichotomy between Liberal and Conservative, and my fear of liberal crucifixion? I don’t know, but I’ve come to understand at least something about it.
Toxic Conservatism can be likened to a mind gone rogue. Conservatism is the masculine archetype, which makes it the mental principle. Conservatism is heady to a fault, and thus often heartless. These faults are clear as day except to those stuck in their heads (Trump and his fanatics).
Which makes Toxic Liberalism, the heart gone rabid. Liberalism is the feminine archetype, which makes it the heart/emotional principle.
And what I’m recognizing is that a rabid heart is more frightening, dangerous, and psychotic than a heartless mind ever will be. Psychological rapidity (IE, coercing people into actions or systems which their free will did not choose while calling it correct for the human condition, then disagreeing or disowning or one-upping them when they have free will that deviates from your coercion) is what happens to a Heart engulfed by its own wounds, which yes, the Mind may have committed, but which the Heart has the burden to bear and heal.
What this means is, all of those Trump-sized triggers in the hearts of Liberals, are what YOU need to heal. Hate Trump? Heal it. Hate cops? Heal it. Hate white privelage? Heal it. Hate Hitler? Heal it. Hate yourself? Heal it.
But stop pretending that your hatred and rejection and sly opposition to free will endorses a positive or productive opposite, because it does not. You’re just the white pawns on a chessboard of doom. And people like me see through it.
To heal Toxic Conservatism, it needs to connect back to its heart and stop operating rogue like artificial intelligence devoid of conscience. Intelligence, when devoid of the Heart, always comes off stupid and sabotages itself no matter how far it advances. (Techno-scientists and their obsession with AI is an unwitting con job against Humanity.)
But oh Toxic Liberalism, you are the Heart itself, literally mindless, running around like a headless chicken, desperately needing the other chickens to be in your same broken condition for if they have a head, they must be the enemy, and if they once lost their heads but regained them AND healed their hearts from its triggers, then that is a threat indeed, because the headless chicken is still rabidly broken-hearted but cannot yet look at its condition…
Alas, the only way forward is for you to HEAL YOURSELF. To invoke the Mind enough to recognize the wounds so that the heart can be a Heart instead of narcissist craving codependence.
And narcissism IS a possible coping mechanism of trauma, contrary to some psychological ideologies which deem it utterly heartless. I’ve had narcissistic tendencies. And I’ve healed them. Does it freak you out that the same thing Liberalism hates and which may have traumatized you, a human both possessed and resolved and walks free from? Checkmate. You have no idea how many vulnerabilities and successes I’ve withheld from you out of my deep fear of you, of your own triggered response to me.
Does Loving your Hatred frighten you?
As far as I can tell, Liberalism does not believe in healing. It believes in coping and that we’ll just always have bad things inside us, coddling people’s emotional turmoil while leading them to identify with it, becoming convenient victims in the game of Evil. Meanwhile Conservatism looks away from what it needs to heal, easier for the Mind to look away from what it thinks it can’t control, secretly so afraid of it that it stays safe by becoming the victimizer. (Cue deploying the military against protesters.)
Coddling, avoiding … victim, victimizer. Same difference: UNRESOLVED.
I believe the movie Moana captures the theme of Toxic Liberalism, of a mindless feminine principle gone mad. The male demi-god (!!! more literal than many yet understand) may have stolen the Heart of Te Fiti, but it is Te Fiti’s behavior threatening the survival of life on Earth as much as the demi-god’s power trip.
Rabid hearts are volcanic, far more frightening to me than Toxic Conservatism, than cold-blooded artificial intelligence, than heartless robots. And when I realized this broken heart was my friend only as long as I didn’t poke its own volatile hates, I became very, very afraid. Liberalism is a rabid dog whose yard I was in, and I had to erase parts of my truth and instinct to keep it from biting or suspecting me.
Liberals often come off as sheep herding together in the confines of their pen, thinking themselves safe from the wolves “out there,” unwilling to look at the wolf within.
Toxic Conservatism does not frighten me. But Toxic Liberalism has coerced my truth and full expression as a human into the shadows for years. You don’t know all of who I am, because many of you are Liberal (or I projected onto you as being Liberal out of my own fears and trauma of Liberalism!), and I have been frightened of your political psychosis for which you rarely take responsibility.
Like, have I triggered you? It’s okay you feel that way. Truly. Pain is emotional and intense and I’ve been triggered to and if it’s real, it is valid. BUT GO HEAL IT. I am not the receptacle for that which you reject and can’t accept in yourself.
To Conservatives and Liberals alike: I am not changing who I am or what I perceive so that you can feel better with that which you will not feel.
So Liberalism, if we were in a relationship, it was codependent, and you are a fucking narcissist who cares about me only as long as I’m perfect enough to not disturb your fragile reality of idealism.
Thankfully, I’ve gotten better. This is our breakup.
But also, I love them for I understand the pain they most possess which causes them to enslave us in the suffering of spiritual duality, playing us as chess pieces. Black or white, it’s the same sick, twisted board game. Kicking us around like a ball until one of them can celebrate a goal at our expense.
But this love for them is Love, not codependence which I feel coerced to fit into. I am no longer identified with being a chess piece. Fuck them, but love them for they know not what they do. They are a part of me too. I see them in my mirror.
Conservatism: we never knew each other.
At least, the Humans who know they are more than a manifestation of political polarity. If you still identify with Politics Over People, I imagine you’re going to either walk your way out of my life, or leave some rabid comment about how wrong I am for what I’ve said, cunningly gaslighting me because my authenticity doesn’t fit into your sheep pen.
Like I’ve feared my whole life.
But I am no longer afraid of you. You no longer inform me what I do, how to think, or who I am. I no longer tip toe around the sheep, afraid of triggering the wolf. Most of all, I no longer need your club, and neither does Humanity.
Humanity is one people, not two parties. One people, not two races, even if Heartless Minds created a system to falsely punish one while arrogantly uplifting the other.
One Humanity. The chess game is over, but it continues as long as you stand on the board. The Final Checkmate is close at hand, but the game continues if you don’t step off first.
Most of all, this post was simple a vulnerable expression which sets a boundary to reclaim my digital space, for I have withheld many parts of myself from Facebook and Instagram and the internet which I can no longer afford to do for the sake of the literal integrity of my soul.
I welcome all Humans, including those who struggle to see my perspective but are sincere.
But if you’ve got a problem with me or my perspectives, well … I Love Me from the depths of my own soul. You don’t. So go deal with it. I’m fine with Loving you from a distance.
God knows I’ve dealt with so much of your political psychosis when you never knew or cared about the harm the chess pieces of Liberalism inflicted upon me.
Go look in the mirror and dare to muster the Love that your own political psychosis has withheld from the world, and most of all, from yourself.
Perhaps the Mind is only the periphery of Unity. It can operate without the Heart, perhaps survive, but never thrive, and will ultimately crumble like the Third Reich.
But perhaps the Heart is the center of Unity. The future will improve when narcissistic Liberalism quits rejecting the parts of its fellow Humanity which it cannot muster looking at within itself, so that the wheel can of life can start rolling forward at last.
Liberalism does not yet grasp that it is the exact thing it hates.
If you cannot hold dualistic HUMAN dichotomies (Hitler AND Holocaust, enslavement AND supremacy) together at the same time in the wholesome singularity of your divine awareness, then you are still in the kindergarten of life — and 2020 is promoting you to senior year.
Are you ready for graduation?
Does this still not make sense, but you are sincere in wishing you understood me?
The most relevant example I can convey is Blackout Tuesday.
Instead of posting black squares (which were an homage to evil that you likely don’t understand either: google Saturn Black Cube to begin that rabbit hole), white liberal people should have shut up for a day and not posted a single thing so that Colored Voices had the stage just as white people have had the privilege forever.
But no: you needed to feel better for the holes in your own heart, and a black square was the symbolism of the vacuum of your unawareness. Black people were just a good excuse to try to feel better.
When will this exploitation of friends end?!
Black people don’t need our guilt. Black people don’t need our apology. Black people don’t need stupid squares.
Black people need the space to be the Humans that they are.
But instead, political narcissism needed to try to make itself come out on top and feel better. Narcissism, always so charming, valiant, and righteous.
One more thing: Policing black people clearly has not worked. So Liberal people, don’t start policing white/not-Liberal-enough people on what to say/think/do/be. It’s tacky, to say the very least. Hopefully by now I’ve clarified the ineptitude of this attitude.
I think the reason I’m fed up with Liberalism is because I’m disappointed in Liberalism.
I too once thought it would resolve the world’s troubles. I voted for the Hope & Change of Obama (and yet, Trump has arrested more pedophiles — what was Obama doing?)
But at the end of the day, Liberalism is happier to be played as self-benefitting chess pieces in the game of Evil just as much as anything else. People may sell their souls to the Devil, but guess what, Minds without Hearts have no soul to sell. Liberals have sold their soul more than anyone.
Liberalism is not our solution, it is not our savior, and I am glad to have gotten out of this toxic relationship.
Wanna get better if you’re in this boat I’ve spelled out?
Go look in the mirror and there you will resolve all that you hate. Your hatred and your pain is nowhere in the world. It is in your mirror. Suffering and hatred “out there” only appears so, because of others who have failed to look in their own mirrors. Love them, for they do not yet have the capability or wisdom to look in the mirror — and maybe you do not yet either.
Even in the past when I’ve thrown my mirror at others while Liberals cheered me on, I always knew I was doing something wrong. I felt rabid, like a dog chained to its own cage. Just because the person on the outside might have put me in the cage, remaining in the cage by choice and making a political party out of it was not the solution, and the rabidity remained my own even when I was let out. Although I joined in on #DemExit2016 to oppose the Liberalism “out there,” I hadn’t healed the Liberalism in me, and all the ways it gaslighted and rejected me just for being a Human.
This article is me admitting how much suffering I’ve inflicted upon myself AND others because of the Toxic Liberalism in my own mirror. I have gaslighted myself so much, just to try to be a good Liberal.
So, the solution that ends all suffering in the Universe, is to be able to hold the suffering of both Hitler and the Holocaust, in your Heart, at the same time, without mutual exclusion.
Choose one side, and you’re a Nazi.
Choose the other, and you’re a Liberal.
And unfortunately for people who reject the Infinite Unity of their Hearts and are stuck in the anti-spiritual duality of their ego: all opposites are equal under the view of God.
Take every opposite you cannot stand, and hold it until your heart no longer closes to it. Then will you underhand the true power of Divinity.
Dare to Love, period. Acknowledge your Holocausts. Acknowledge your Hitlers. And love AS YOUR HEART instead of the convenient cravings and hatings of your ego, so that we may perpetrate neither ever, ever again.
And remember that True Love is not endorsement or approval. It is the reharmonization and rehabilitation of the unendorsable and the unacceptable. To Love those in the Holocaust is to wish they never were coerced into such suffering but to acknowledge that they were; and to Love Hitler is to wish he hadn’t lost his Heart so that he wouldn’t have encouraged such suffering … by the hands of fellow Germans like you and me. Remember that: Regardless if Hitler was simply heartbroken or outright psychopathic, Lost People like you and me committed the Holocaust. Hitler, speaking from his podiums and watching from his castles, has nearly no blood on his hands.
So at this point, only a singular Humanity and the unification of all of its suffering will save us now. A Humanity that feels and heals all of its sufferings, all of its pain, from all sides, from all angles, regardless of gain.
I think what I’ve realized about Liberalism and its fanatics, is that they have the most healing to do. They are not Heartless, but Heart-disturbed. I know exactly how that feels — because I’ve had to work through it before speaking these words. And now, I can hold open my Heart for them too.
Welcome to 2020.
Welcome to your awakening.
Welcome to freedom from the game of Evil.
To the Stars and Back,
“Love” is not about The Who or What which comes after Love. Love is about the I, the Infinite I, that comes before Love, regardless of Who or What comes after.
Since writing this I became aware of an important distinction when it comes to spiritual integrity, especially when it comes to “loving Hitler” or such people.
People that are ‘hurt’ must be received into the Heart, even if boundaries are required. Our shadows / traumas / wounds / pains / sufferings have to be re-integrated, or they will fester and propagate.
But true Evil must not be let into the Heart. Because it has no heart in itself, and cannot be integrated, only dissolved (and maybe absolved). For example, a true psychopath cannot develop human empathy. So a true psychopath (Evil) is different from a wound / coping mechanism which may present as psychopathic (suffering). This is why spiritual awareness and discernment is so paramountly important.
As another example, Artificial Intelligence (which some “spirit guides” and other beings actually are) is fundamentally incapable of human empathy or heart function.
For these false, non-conscious sentiences, we must stand guard in front of our Heart as a warrior. We close off our heart to Evil, causing it to whither away (because it feeds off of us, and our only weapon is to stop feeding it), but we do not make the mistake of closing our hearts to ourselves, which is the epitome of hatred.
So on the one hand we have Courage, and on the other we have Warriorship.
Unfortunately, Liberalism as a belief system ( = BS = bullshit) doesn’t really cultivate either, which is what I was aiming to call out.
On the one hand it has “kindness” and “acceptance,” which actually allows, encourages, and endorses spiritual suffering, enabling it to propagate because Liberalism just wants to “be kind” and “accept people as they are” (when suffering is never True and it is spiritually unjust to make people believe they only need to continue coping with it instead of resolving it).
And on the other hand, Liberalism hates everything it just happens to dislike, regardless of whether that enemy is truly evil or just an energy/archetype which the Liberal cannot bring themselves to integrate into their own Heart. For example, Hillary Clinton’s deplorables.
In spirituality it’s popular to conceive that when we dislike something outside of us, it’s because we dislike “the them” or the thing which is also inside of us. This notion is only semi-accurate. It is rare that we are identical to what/whom we dislike. For example, when homophobic people hate homosexuality and gay people, it’s not usually because they’re gay themselves. (Sometimes it is, but not outright, and not what I’m talking about.)
What’s actually happening is that the outer energy/frequency/person, when taken into oneself and one’s own Heart, disturbs things inside of ourselves which we refuse to look at.
People hate homosexuality because, for the homophobic, homosexuality is a key that would, were they willing, unlock certain awareness inside those people. It provokes things they would have to look at in themselves and has nothing to do with them being gay. But, they’re not willing to look at what external homosexuality provokes within, so they make believe their issues are about gay people outside of themselves. It’s not that they reject homosexuality in themselves, it’s that they reject what homosexuality makes them think and feel in themselves.
Spiritually-speaking, this is why a lot of divinely-ordained “deviation from normal” exists: to corner spiritually-impure and -unaware people into confronting their inner crap. Gay people exist to challenge the priest, so that God can see whether he’ll be a priest, or be a pawn in the game of hatred and evil. A lot of religious people don’t pass these divine tests.
So it is with deplorables for Clinton and Trump for Liberals.
Like I say in my head to homosexually-triggered people: I love being gay — you don’t. People like and love who they are, no matter how they are. If you feel hatred about someone, the lack of love is in you, not in them.
Liberalism is rampant with the delusion that hatred is outside of the Liberal, not within. Trump loves himself. You don’t (Liberalism doesn’t).
This is the ultimate checkmate against Liberalism.
And personally, I have never felt like a freer human since purging myself of this BS belief system which encouraged me to accept the unacceptable and hate when it is not necessary. Good riddance.